In the same spirit as Ebonics (but certainly, not in the same vein), I give to you the Rules of English as they should be, for all students of the English language.
This is based on watching my daughter struggle to master "sounding it out."
This is based on watching my daughter struggle to master "sounding it out."
Part one: the new alphabet. There will no longer be any groupings of letters (or single letters) that masquerade as others. For instance, OO and OU will now only be represented by the letter “u” with the marker “^” after it to denote the long vowel (unless you'd rather have an additional 5 letters in the alphabet to represent so-called "long vowel sounds," which I'm all for). All other letter-groupings are the same. “S” now only represents the sibilant, “s,” not “z” and “c” is superfluous, etc. The new alphabet, as it should be:
29 letters, as opposed to the current 26 letters:
^= marker at the end: converts any vowel to its long sound.
A= short “a”; with the addition of silent “^” at the end it is “ae”
B=b
D= d
E=short “e”; with the addition of silent “^” at the end, it sounds like “ee”
F=h
G= the guttural sound “g” only: no longer will it sound like a “j”
H=h: no longer will it be combined with any other letter to make a different sound
I= short “i”; with the addition of silent “^” at the end, it is “eye.”
J= j
K= k
L= l
M= m
N= n
O= “ah”; with the addition of silent “^” at the end it is “oh”
P= p
Q= q
R= r
S= the sibilant, “s” NOT “z” and there is no longer a need to add a second “s” to any series to achieve this result.
T= t There is no longer a need to add a second “t” to a series to achieve the same result. “T” never results in a “d” sound, now, and is never a glottal stop, as in “mittens.”
U= short “u” as in “uh.” With the addition of silent “^” at the end, it sounds like “oo.”
V= v
W= w: there is no longer a need to add “h” to “w” to achieve the same sound.
Z= z
C= ch: since “c” represents either “s” or “k” it is superfluous and “ch” is redundant. “C” now only represents the sound currently identified as “ch.”
+= “eth”: The hard “th” sound as it’s represented, now.
X= since “x” represents the letter “z” and sometimes the combination sound, “eks” and not a letter sound of its own, it is now ONLY the “sh” sound (as it’s represented now.)
All combination sounds will be spelled as represented: “xray” will be spelled “eksra^” Seem complicated? It’s a lot less complicated than the crap that passes for phonics, you know…
PS-- Don't ask me what to do with the word, "ow." I haven't thought it through that far, quite yet. Depends on your accent, I suppose... "aw?"
PS-- Don't ask me what to do with the word, "ow." I haven't thought it through that far, quite yet. Depends on your accent, I suppose... "aw?"
